If The Shoe Fits...

Hello my tumblr kittens…

I haven’t been on because it frustrates me that I can’t post my own pictures from the tumblr on my iPad. I think about it everyday though, I haven’t forgotten.

I’ve been having really bad anxiety lately because of my future. I know that I need to move to California and start everything but I don’t know how. I read an article the other day about these two girls with the same aspirations as me, except they’re older and have already pretty much accomplished what they want for their life which is exactly what I want with mine. These girls are fashion bloggers, who go to fashion shows and events, and are also event planners. Yes, Im not as dedicated as I should be with my tumblr and posting on it, but I have so much going on and I need to just get into the habit of it. Also I do try and plan as many parties as I can, and each time they get bigger and bigger, but they aren’t really anything professional or anything. It’s so frustrating and it gives me such anxiety. But I am only JUST 20 years old, and these girls are 25/26…but if im not where I want to be at that age it just won’t be very pretty.

Robert and I have ended for sure, for good, forever.

I’m going to email myself some pictures and try uploading some through the actual computer and not my iPad

Xoxoxoxoxo rf

Today was a first

Today I got a tattoo! Pictures to come…I’m very excited and proud of myself for just going and doing something crazy for myself.

Also, I’m trying this new thing with Robert where I try and reverse the roles. He’s been very mean to me and then I have been just going back to him whenever he asks, so I’m trying to switch it around. I know it hasn’t been that long, but I haven’t talked to him since Sunday where we got into a huge fight and he said some pretty harsh things to me. Since Sunday, though, he has called me twice! Unlike all the other times where my first reaction of seeing a missed call from him would be to call him right back, no matter where I am, I haven’t called or even texted him back! I’m very proud of myself, although I am very curious as to why he was calling in the first place; that drives me a little crazy. Hopefully, though, he’s going crazy wondering what the deal is. I told myself that the next time he calls I will answer. I was thinking I would act super cas. (casual) when he calls, like no big deal! Sooo good.

Today has been a good day, to say the least. I would say I’m growing, or have grown, and I am very proud of it!

Xoxoxo rf

Not sure how long this will last…

But I had a vision that I needed to start writing more. I’m not sure if I have a future in this but when I move to California I would like to start writing about fashion, and take pictures of cute outfits I come across, but of course wouldn’t be able to afford.

As I read all of my previous, very old, posts I can’t help but laugh. I’m not sure if I was exaggerating my feelings, or if I’ve grown a lot since I posted them, but the feelings I was feeling about Robert have changed; maybe not the feelings persay, but definitely the situation. A lot has grown, and I would say we became closer than ever. At the moment, though, im sad to say that things are not the best, but that’s only because he feels like he can walk over me and the next day I’ll be there (yes, it is true…). It won’t happen for long, though, because I need things to turn around or end.

Too much has happened at this point to type it all, but on another hand I was starting to talk to two guys from my past; I didnt actually hang out with them because I kept chickening out. Yesterday I decided to not talk to them. I think it’s best for me right now to figure things completely out with Robert before I start something else.

I’m not sure who’s reading this but I think I’m going to start this up again! It won’t be only of fashion, or outfits I’ve seen during the day, but also of my life as I figure things out.

Xoxoxo, rf